My First Love
by Secretlyinsane01
Summary: Hermione has been in love with this man ever since she punched him in the face. No matter what he does she still loves him. He loves her back. No one knows but them.
1. Chapter 1: My First Love

_Chapter 1: Love is Pain_

_My love. My first real love. He's tall and handsome. So pale he looks ghostly. Hair so blonde that its white. Cold thin lips but perfect. I loved everything about this man, and I still do. My love for him gets stronger every day. His name? Draco. Draco Malfoy._

_When I was younger I was the strong type. Stern, smart, brave. A true gryfindor. Beautiful, he would call me as we passed in the hallway. Mud blood he would call me with his friends. I loved that about him. The unexpected compliments. The often put downs. Of course I never appreciated him calling me names. No girl does. But the way he talks is so soothing I don't even notice when he insults me sometimes. It's almost ridiculous. When did I start loving this beautifully terrible man? Well, here's our story._

_"you filthy little mud blood!" Draco yelled in Hermione's face. She stepped back in horror of that word. Tears filling up in her eyes, she blinked them away and punches him square in the face. She feels better, a lot better. She hears Ron and Harry laughing in the background as she watches Draco and his friends run away in fear. She feels bad, really bad. So bad that she wants to go see if Draco is okay. Then she catches herself thinking these thoughts. She has never thought about being nice to Draco. "am I okay?" she asks herself softly._

_"what was that?" Harry asks._

_"oh nothing. Just speaking to myself, sorry" she answers him._

_They walk back, the whole time Ron talking excitedly about how Hermione being so brave and standing up to Draco like that. The whole time Hermione thinking how ridiculous she is for feeling bad about that._

_They get back to the Gryfindor common room. Hermione runs up to her room right away to think more leaving Ron and Harry confused._

_"what's up with her?" asks Ron._

_"must be girl stuff, let's go tell Neville and Seamus what happened, they will never believe it." Harry says._

_They leave and the common room becomes empty._

_Hermione lays in her bed staring at the ceiling. No ones in the room but her, she's glad. "No reason to have anyone worry about me, just leads to more stress." she says in her head._

_She hears something odd. She comes out of her haze and takes out her wand for protection from whatever made the sound. She sits up and looks around. Nothing. Again she hears the noise, sounds like someone in the common room rummaging for something. Suddenly she hears someone yelling. A familiar voice._

_It's Draco. She knows it._

_He's cursing now. Yelling swear words at the top of his lungs. "he must think no ones here." Hermione whispers to herself. She's know wondering why he's here._

_"THAT FILTHY LITTLE MUDBLOOD BITCH! She will learn never to touch me again!" he screams._

_Hermione's terrified. What if he comes up here and finds her. He would hurt her. She would scream for help but no one would hear because no one is here._

_Suddenly silence fills the air. Then footsteps coming up the stairs. She's so scared she can't move. She's just standing in the middle of the room with her arms by her side staring at the door._

_He's behind the door, she knows because the knob jiggled. It's locked._

_"Alohamora" he whispers. The door creaks open a bit. She can see the tip of his wand._

_He walks inside. She's standing there like an idiot afraid to do anything. Afraid for her life._

_He's staring at her now. Hatred in his eyes. But she stares into them, only because there's more than hate in those sparkling eyes. She can't quit figure out what it is before he looks away. He's looking out the window now. It's raining. She hadn't noticed until now. She takes a light step back because she feels quit unbalanced. He jerks his head back at her. He looks at her feet._

_"it's raining." he finally brakes the silence. She slightly nods to show she's listening. He sits down on her bed. Puts down his wand and looks at the ground._

_His nose is red and a little swollen. He rubs at it, then winces from the slight pain. He looks back out the window. His eyes are watery._

_"I'm sorry." Hermione says softly. She's looking out the window too, watching the small droplets hit the glass and skidding down making paths of water. Reminds her of tears._

_He's looking at her now. She's looking at her feet, then looks up at him. Their eyes meet. She doesn't see hate in his eyes anymore. There's no trace of it. She sees sadness and that little something she can't quit figure out._

_"you should be." he says loudly. His eyes change again, from sadness to hate, then to anger._

_He gets up and picks up his wand. He starts walking towards her slowly. Hermione steps back quickly scared of what he's going to do. She slips and her wand rolls under the bed near her. She scrambles to her feet._

_She backs up into a wall. Draco is now in her face. There faces are only inches apart. She can feel his hot breath on her nose. He's taller than her so she has to look up. She sees his eyes and it frightens her even more. She turns her head so she's looking at the window again. He gets closer. His breath now on her ear. She wants to dart but he's smart and is holding her hands against the wall now._

_He whispers into her ear "karma's a bitch." she winces as the cold words hit her ear. She looks back at him. He's looking deep into her eyes now. His eyes, they changed. Now she knows what has been in his eyes this whole time. Death._

_She's surprised. Her breathing quickens._

_He takes a step back and lets go of her hands. She doesn't move but she wants to, she knows that if she does move it will just make the situation worse. So she just stays still, she's staring at his wand. He has it in his hand, he's also looking at it._

_He's still very close to her and she's wondering if she could punch him again, if she would have enough will power to do it._

_He lifts his head and looks at her, she looks up. Right when there eyes meet, he gets close again and knees her in the stomach. He then kicks her in the arm. Then to finish off he slaps her in the face._

_He feels good. He feels better now that he has had his revenge. She's crying, her nose is slightly bleeding and her arm is bent out of shape. Its broken._

_He turns around and walks quickly from the room. He leaves her there to suffer until someone helps her._

_"You dropped your wand!" she screams through the gasps for breath and the tears running into her mouth. His wand lays on the floor right next to her. It doesn't sound like he's coming back so she reaches for it but then screams in pain. She looks at her arm. She didn't notice until now that it's obviously broken. Through the pain in her stomach she can't really feel much._

_She starts screaming for help, "Help! HELP! Please, someone help!". She knows no one can hear her because no one is there. She starts crying even more if that's even possible. She still feels bad about punching him in the face. She feels bad that she caused him pain. She doesn't want to feel bad though, she wants too feel good that she punched his face. But she just can't bring herself to think like that. Even when she's lying on the floor in so much pain because of him, she just can't..._


	2. Chapter 2: Your Eyes

Chapter 2: Your Eyes Are a Straight Trip To Your Soul

She woke up. She then realized that she must of passed out and she doesn't no for how long. No one seems to have come up and found her yet. She's still in tons of pain, her stomach feels like a truck hit her, her arm is numb but she still feels aching, her nose stopped bleeding. She feels her face with her good hand. It's swollen under her eye and some dry blood in by her mouth and nose.

She hears someone down stairs. "Help! Help! Please!" she screams. She hears someone rushing up the stairs, she's relieved.

The door pushes open and she can't believe what she sees. It's Draco. He looks upset.

"what are you doing here" she says with hate in her voice "back to kill me?"

"I wouldn't kill you, I'm here to bring you to the hospital wing" he says back. She's confused, why would he help her after what he's done to her.

" why are you helping me?" she says confused.

" one, I don't want to get in trouble for doing this to you. And two, when I got back to my dorm and I had some weird thoughts. Things that if I told you, I would have to kill you." he chuckles a bit. He has a small smile on his face. "it's kind out cute" she thinks. She lets out a small scream.

"what's wrong?" he asks.

"nothing." she says. Did she just think that? How could she think Draco Malfoy's smile was cute. She feels sick to her stomach. That might be from him kneeing her but she thinks its from her awful thoughts.

He kneels down and slides his arms under her. He lights her up. She screams in pain from her stomach and arm. "sorry" he says. On of his hands is accidentally on her butt. For some reason she doesn't mind. Then she screams at her self in her head.

"your hands on my butt..." she awkwardly says. He moves his hand to her upper thigh. He carries her down the stairs. She's staring at his face. He has slight blonde stubble on his chin. His nose is still swollen. His eyes are ice blue from this angle, but she knows they are really grey. A beautiful light grey. His hair is perfectly swished to one side like always.

They get to the bottom of the stairs. His hands are slipping a bit so he adjusts so he doesn't drop her. She's still looking at him, he notices and looks down. His eyes. Their filled with love. He looks concerned and loving. "loving?" she thinks. How could Draco's eyes and face look loving? He's stopped walking. He's staring into her eyes.

"your eyes are a straight trip to your soul." he whispers.

She's breathing quit quickly now. He's leaning down now. His face is right on hers. Their lips touch. His lips are cold and moist, hers are hot and dry, a perfect fit. He lifts his head and breaks the kiss. The look on his face is hard to describe. He looks disgusted, loving, confused, and concerned at the same time. Hermione just looks confused. He looks away from her face and starts walking fast. The whole time on their way hermione was looking at Draco. His face kept changing, once and a while he would smile and look loving and happy, then he would look angry and confused, and then he would look concerned. They got to the hospital wing. He laid her down on one of the beds then called for the nurse.

"what seems to be wrong with you sweetheart?" the nurse asks nicely when she gets to the bedside.

Draco answering for her " her arm appears to be broken, she says that her stomach hurts like someone punched her, and her face is swollen." he says, no emotion in his voice.

"ouch, and how did this happen?" the nurse asked while slowly examining Hermione's arm and stomach being careful not to hurt her more than she is.

Hermione opens her mouth to tell the nurse the truth then remembers the kiss. She doesn't want to ruin what she a Draco apparently have. So she lies " I fell down the stairs from my room. My stomach hit a big stack of books that were on the stairs while I was falling.". The nurse nods. Draco looks at Hermione with thankfulness is his eyes.

"well looks like you have a broken arm, your stomach is probably sprained, and your face is just a little swollen. Ill go get some castings to start casting up your arm. I'll also get some medicine to settle your stomach, and some ice for your cheek." the nurse says then walks away.

"thank you." Draco says quickly. Then he walks out of the hospital wing Why did he leave, now she's going to be alone. There are a few other kids in the room. She looks to her left and sees Cho Chang, she's puking into a bucket. Gross. Then she looks to her right and sees three kids she doesn't know. The nurse comes back with everything she said she would bring and some juice. The nurse sits down beside the bed and sets everything down on the cart closest to her. The nurse grabs some gauze and starts wrapping Hermione's arms in it. Hermione winces in the pain.

Just then Harry comes into the room searching for Hermione. He rushes up to her.

"I heard what happened, are you alright?" he says thoughtfully.

"I guess, just a broken bone and a sprained stomach." Hermione tells him. The nurse lifts her arm a little more an d Hermione groans from the pain.

"oops sorry dear, just a second have to get this little part." the nurse says.

"so how did you get here? I heard you fell down the stairs from your room. It would of hurt to much to walk here yourself." he says confused.

Hermione doesn't know what to say. If she says it was Draco, Harry won't believe her and it will spread rumors. If she says anyone else someone will tell them and they will tell the truth.

"that Draco boy did, he can be quit nice sometimes." the nurse blurts out. Hermione sighs and puts her head back.

"DRACO! I don't believe it! How did he get in the Gryfindor common room anyways? Doesn't he hate you?" Harry freaks out. Harry starts pacing around the bed.

"it was nothing, he heard me screaming for help and helped me." she explains.

The nurse is done wrapping and putting Hermione's arm in a sling. She's now handing Hermione some medicine for her stomach. Hermione takes the medicine. It tastes vial. The nurse hands her the juice to wash the taste down. Harry's mumbling to himself now and laying down on the bed next to Hermione. He looks nauseous. She should be the one nauseous, Draco did kiss her and that medicine did taste like puke.

The nurse hands her a small bag of ice for her face.

"all done, take a nap and when you wake up call me over and we will get you to your room. Feel better" the nurse says with a warm smile on her face. The nurse turns around, "are you alright Harry?" she asked concerned.

"how could I be alright, Draco helped someone. The world is going to combust." he says jokingly.

She giggles "alright then, you get some rest to, you'll feel better about the situation when you wake up.". She walks off. Harry sighs.

"I'm going to sleep, we're not talking about this. I don't need this kind off stress right now. You should get some sleep too, like she said you'll feel better about this after some sleep. Night." Hermione says sternly. Harry growls jokingly. Hermione rolls onto her left, the side her broken arm isn't on. She closes her eyes and thinks for a while about Draco. She realizes in that time that her and Draco have mixed feelings about each other. That they both seem to like each other but they both seem to be disgusted with the fact that it's them. How could she love Draco but how could she not love him. seems like she has been thinking for hours with no sleep but she has fallen asleep. She dreamt of Draco. Of how he's so handsome. Of how disgusting and sweet he is at the same time. She dreamt of the kiss. Of the fireworks and contrasting temperatures of them. She dreamt of how perfect they would be together.

Meanwhile.

Draco lays in his bed staring out the window. He's watching the rain while he thinks of Hermione. He thinks of her tears when he sees the rain. He doesn't like it but he still watches. He still feels tingles on his lips from their kiss. He still feels the love in his heart.

He also feels like he's going to throw up. How could he be falling in love with a mudblood. Maybe it was the way she stood up to him. Maybe its the way she looks into his eyes every time they see each other. He knows that she sees the real him in his eyes. He knows because his eyes tell stories. He's been told this many times. He's been told that you can read his emotions in his eyes. This scares him. He wonders if Hermione saw his love for her when he was holds no her. He hopes not. He doesn't want this "thing" to progress. He wants it to end. He doesn't want to hurt her. He knows he would to. He's not the gentle type obviously. He gets angry easy and sometimes he can't control himself.

He feels terrible about what he did to Hermione today. So terrible he's thinking about leaving Hogwarts for a while to pull himself together and get control. He needs to gain control if he ever wants to be with Hermione. Otherwise he will not allow himself to even touch her.

"it will take time" he says softly to himself.

Suddenly he realizes he has left his wand in Hermione's room. He doesn't know when or how he will get it back without seeing Hermione again. He will haves to ask Harry or Ron to get it for him no questions asked.

He falls asleep. He dreams of Hermione. He dreams of himself, of him getting better and gaining control again. He dreams of being Hermione's love. He dreams of her beautiful brown hair and her soft skin. He dreams of her lips, so hot. He dreams of his desire.


End file.
